National Caregivers Day!

Yesterday was National Caregivers Day (2/21), and while I missed posting on the actual day, caregiving never stops. For the past three years, I have been my mother’s primary caregiver as she battles Alzheimer’s disease. This journey is filled with love, patience, exhaustion, and deep gratitude.

I am not alone. Over 53 million caregivers in the U.S. provide unpaid care to family and loved ones (AARP, 2020). By 2030, an estimated 8.5 million Americans will be living with Alzheimer’s (Alzheimer’s Association). These numbers are staggering, and so is the emotional, physical, and financial toll caregiving takes on families.

Deciding how to care for a loved one is deeply personal. Some families, choose in-home care, while others opt for long-term care facilities—both are valid choices. Alzheimer’s is relentless, and as needs evolve, so do care decisions. There’s no “one-size-fits-all,” and no one should feel guilt for choosing what’s best for their situation.

The reality is that care costs add up.

• Private Caregiver: Averages $15–$30 per hour.

• Adult Daycare: Around $80 -$125 per day in Arkansas.

• Assisted Living: Typically $4,000+ per month (ElderLife Financial, 2024).

• Memory Care: Often $5,000+ per month (MemoryCare.com, 2023).

• Nursing Home: Ranges from $7,000–$8,000 per month (ElderLife Financial, 2024).

  
  

While care is expensive, there are some resources that can help. I’ve received a few respite grants from Alzheimer's Arkansas that provided some relief, and while they don’t cover a lot, every bit helps. I'm extremely grateful.

According to the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP (2020), one in three Black caregivers dedicates over 20 hours per week to caregiving, often while balancing full-time employment. We manage responsibilities at work, at home, and in various other settings, all while maintaining an appearance of effortlessness. Though challenging, we approach these responsibilities with grace, strength, and unwavering faith.

We choose an Adult Daycare for her weekday needs. Heaven Sent Adult Daycare provides two hot meals and two snacks each day, along with daily exercise and activities. While the overall cost of the daycare is an expense, the services they offer are invaluable for our family. Having a daycare like Heaven Sent has been crucial for me; knowing that my mother is safe from 8 AM to 5:30 PM, Monday through Friday, allows me to maintain a normal routine without worrying about her safety. Although adjustments are necessary, having this structure is impactful.

Additionally, the support from close family and my mom's lifelong friends has been a blessing. They have traveled across states to assist us and are all part of our village.

A few Lessons I’ve Learned on This Journey.......

✔️ Have a backup plan when you make plans that are super important. Life happens. Try to identify a few caregivers so you can go down the list (work with those you know and if you don't know, check references)

✔️ Make sure you have a Power of Attorney, Will & Medical Directive in place.

✔️ Surround yourself with people who understand. Keep your life as normal as you possibly can under the circumstances.

✔️ Create a routine and stick to it.

✔️ Install cameras inside and outside your home.

✔️ Pick your battles. Some things aren’t worth the fight.

✔️ Take as many breaks as you can or need. Travel if you can. Schedule time for yourself. This journey has no timeframe and can be months or years. Don't get sick taking care of the sick. Take care of yourself.

✔️ Therapy helps. Caregiving is emotional—talk to someone.

✔️ Stay connected. Your real friends will understand.

✔️ Join a caregiver support group. The knowledge and support are invaluable.

✔️Hide all suitcases. She tries to go home a lot less now that she can't find them.

This journey is not for the weak, and though I get weary, God gives me the strength to keep going. Honestly, there have been many days I wanted to quit.

To my village—whether you help in big ways or small, pray for me, or simply check in—thank you. Your support means everything. I could not do this without you!

To my fellow caregivers - You are seen. You are appreciated. You are doing an incredible job. Keep holding on, and please, don’t forget to take care of YOU.

If I can answer any questions regarding my caregiver journey, don't hesitate to email, text or call me.

With love, strength, and resilience,

Kasey L. Summerville